Lost
by Vaneria Potter
Summary: Self Possessed, From Mystique's Point Of View. WARNING: BRING TISSUES!


_Disclaimer: Shouldn't this have sunk in by now? Is stating the obvious really **that** necessary? Oh all right; I don't own X-Men: Evolution._

_Summary: Self Possessed from Mystique's Point Of View.

* * *

_

**Possessed and Lost**

The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and today should go down as a model stereotype for perfect.

Despite this, _my_ day has been so far from perfect that it is not even funny.

It started at 2:00 a.m., when Destiny called me about a vision. Destiny knows how much I hate to be woken in the middle of the night, so I knew it was important. Sure enough, when I met her, it was to be told about my adoptive daughter's probable death in the near future!

I have been at the school since it opened this morning, frantically searching for my Rogue and trying to think of what might threaten her.

The students of Bayville High are wandering around the school like good little drones, a good camouflage for my persona as Risty Wilde, despite how much I have to subdue my real personality to fit in. Things were so much easier when I was Principle Raven Darkholme.

I am in the student bathroom, reapplying my make-up, and worrying. Magneto has been strangely quiet lately, and that Cajun of his seems to have an unhealthy interest in my daughter. There appears to be no problems with the X-Men, although tension appears to be rising between Rogue and Jean Grey. Hmmm.

I am so caught up in my thoughts that I almost miss my daughter falling _through_ the door of the girls' restroom.

Thankfully, I recover before she notices me. My baby girl is all right for now at least, and I can stay with her and keep an eye out for the day. That given, my tone may have been a bit _too_ pleased when I see her, but I manage to pass it off as not having seen her for so long.

My daughter's strained face softens into a happy almost-smile as she asks where I had been.

_Held in Area 51 and then blown through a wall in Mexico, both on account of that idiot Cyclops._ "England! My parents didn't want me to come back after all the… fuss."

Rogue looks uncomfortable when I mention the fiasco about mutants being revealed. I don't want to scare her away, so I take her arm, not having to fake the concern in my voice. "Rogue, I am so sorry I wasn't here for you."_ I'm so sorry that I was never there when you needed me. I'm sorry I have no idea how to protect you from Destiny's visions._

Rogue gives me another almost-smile as we exit the rest room and head to class. "I'm the one that should be sorry. I mean, here we are, friends, and I've been hiding this from you."

We stop at a water fountain, but suddenly Rogue grabs her head, electricity forming around the fountain and sending a small lightning bold into it, causing water to jet everywhere. That is strange; normally my daughter's borrowed powers only stick around for a few minutes, and she can't have absorbed Storm that recently.

I'll ponder that later. "Rogue! Are you alright?"

I can easily detect actual fear in her voice, and my worry skyrockets. My daughter _never_ shows that kind of emotion. "I… I don't know!"

The children around us stare at her, and it takes all I have not to morph into my true form and _give_ them something to stare at. Rogue looks around at them, and instantly flees to somewhere quieter.

* * *

I find her out in the yard, sitting at the table where we usually eat together. Rogue fell through the door, using Shadowcat's powers, and now she uses Storm's to blow up the water fountain. Was that what Irene was talking about? I try to probe my daughter about these new happenings. "Were those your powers?"

Rogue avoids my eyes, stumbling over her words. "Yes… no… I mean, sort of! It's hard to explain."

The fear is still in her voice, mixed with panic and confusion, and suddenly she is the little girl that I adopted so many years ago, and it takes every ounce of my self-control not to pull her into my arms and comfort her.

I shrug. My Rogue does not need my pressing her on top of all that she is obviously going through. What the hell does Xavier think he is doing, not trying to help her with this? "You know, it's OK. I understand if you don't want to talk about it."

I stand up, knowing from extensive experience that if Rogue doesn't want to talk about something, there is no force on earth that can make her. I think I taught her a little _too_ well in that department.

Rogue seems to come to a decision and calls after me. "No, wait. I do."

She walks over to stand beside me, obviously thinking of how best to put this, and my heart swells with pride in her willingness to face her fear. My daughter pulls off one of her gloves. "If I were to touch you now, I'd probably put you in a coma. Your life-force, your memories, everything about you would flow into me."

I flinch back before I can stop myself, vividly reminded of what happened last time, on that geography fieldtrip. Irene said that Rogue would play a part in our future, but may not live to fulfil it. If she found out about this deception, would it drive her so far away that I would not be able to help her if necessary? Would an enemy, mine or Rogue's, use it as an opportunity to hurt her? I don't want to think about it. "That's… freaky."

My daughter is beginning to relax again, giving me a small, but genuine smile. "The worst part of it is, a piece of you stays with me, in my head. It's the same with everyone I touch. To tell the truth, it's getting rather crowded."

That does not sound good. What is Xavier doing, not to notice how much pain my Rogue is in? I need to get her mind off it. "Hey, how about we go laugh at the geeks at the concert tonight?"

I grab her arm, linking it with mine, an attempt to let her know that not everyone will stay away from her because of her powers. "Come on, it'll be fun!"

I breathe a mental sigh of relief as Rogue smiles again, this time larger, her fear starting to fade. "Risty, I've kind of missed you."

* * *

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Really, this is not music. It is shouting and loud noise, and there is no way that most of what this crowd is doing could be even remotely connected to the word 'dancing'.

Rogue and I weave through the crowds, accidentally passing by where Summers and Grey are trying to convince each other that this isn't a date, then un-subtly trying to ask if the other wanted it to be.

Rogue glances in their direction and suddenly grabs her head, as though she has a sudden headache or a psychic blast to the mind. It had better not be that Grey girl in a fit of jealousy. "You still have a thing for him, don't you?"

Rogue looks at me like I'm insane. "What? No way! Besides, Scott and Jean are practically a couple!"

"Really? Well, they deserve each other." _Oh, thank god. I can't stand them, and even I wish they would get their act together._

My tone brightens. "And you, my girl, can do better!" _Much better. Come on, Rogue, you should be over this by now, and there is no way that he will ever be worthy of you._

We push through the audience to get closer to the stage. Then Rogue clutches her head again. "I think this was a mistake! I don't do well in crowds!"

I frown slightly. Perhaps my daughter is right, she never did do well in crowded areas, even before her mutation kicked in. Rogue doubles over, and cries out, thankfully un-noticed with all the noise. I start to worry again, and move to steer us to the exit when a girl sitting on her boyfriend's shoulders falls backward, tearing off Rogue's sleeve and exposing her deadly skin.

My Rogue staggers back, colliding with first one person, then another, then another. Then she is knocked backward and bumps into me, making us both scream in pain and fear.

No! This cannot be happening! I feel myself fading back into my true form, see my dearest child start to shift into me as Risty, then into my real form and then I momentarily pass out.

* * *

I wake up seconds later to see my daughter transform back into herself, and then into Sabertooth! Still unable to move, I reach out to her, calling her name in fear and concern as I am suddenly hit by a terrible realization.

It was not a physical danger that threatened my child's life, but her own mutation spinning out of control! She is becoming lost in her own mind as the personalities in her head fight for control, Sabertooth's deadly bezerk rage taking over, trashing the concert hall.

I find myself able to move again as her own team mates attack her, believing her to be an enemy. Cyclops blasts her full force into a wall, burying her under the rubble. My son teleports over, but then is knocked away as my daughter transforms into the Juggernaut.

Rogue runs out of the Hall, and I chase after her, barely noticing the X-Men and their startled exclamations, or their decision to call the rest of their team.

* * *

Police cars appear as I follow Rogue, who is changing from Juggernaut to Magneto, then from Magneto to that hyper egomaniac Quicksilver. I nearly lose her at that, but she does not run far before she changes again, into that Arcade person I used to get to Xavier's files. She staggers into an alley and transforms back into herself, sliding down the wall and curling up in despair.

I slowly approach her, as I used to when she had nightmares, my voice gentle. "Rogue, are you all right?"

Her head snaps up, furious. "Get away from me!"

I suppose I deserve that, but I do not leave. I continue to try and sooth her, knowing that my actions have hurt her deeply. Enough lies, Rogue has always been able to sense when I try to lie to her in this form. Only the truth will stop her from completely loosing herself now. "Please, listen to me! I know I've hurt you, but I only posed as your friend so I could be near you."

She changes into me now, no less angry than before. She throws me into a wall. "Liar! I know the truth! You used me to spy on the X-Men!"

Rogue attacks me with both my fighting moves and her own. I move defensively, dodging her attack, my voice still the soft tone that had always calmed her before. "Please, don't do this. If you have my memories then you know what our relationship is!"

Rogue changes back to herself, sounding as though her heart is being ripped out and I feel my own break at how my actions have hurt her. "I don't know anything!"

I reach out to her. "Admit the truth, Rogue. I adopted you when you were four." _Please, my daughter, don't run from me now. Let me help you._ "Search the memories, you are my daughter."

She screams in denial and runs from the alley. _Away from me…_ "Rogue!"

I follow her again, my heart tearing as I hear her sobs, the tears falling from her eyes. I am about to reach for her again when she uses her brother's powers to teleport away.

_

* * *

OK, calm down, Mystique. Think. Breathe. The X-Men will be following her, so all you need to do is follow them._

I catch up to Wolverine just as he is tackled by Rogue/Sabertooth. My heart stops, knowing that Wolverine could kill her if he had to, then I nearly collapse in relief as he realizes that she is not Sabertooth. Thank the heavens for heightened senses. Rogue ignores this and screams for him to fight her, swinging a lamp post at his head. Wolverine ducks. "Now I know you're not Sabertooth."

An almost hysterical giggle wells up inside of me, only to vanish as the X-Men turn up and attack, ignoring Wolverine as he shouts for them to stop.

What follows is the most agonizing time of my life, and I include Kurt's birth and my escape from Magneto in this. My presence will only make things worse if I am discovered, so I am forced to watch as my Rogue's powers threaten to overwhelm her as she changes randomly into all of the people she has ever absorbed, attacking her team mates with their own powers, and doing a very thorough job of it.

Under normal circumstances, I would be highly amused at the way Rogue is single-handedly thrashing the X-Men in combat, but there is absolutely nothing funny about this situation.

Wolverine finally talks her down, saying that she was letting the voices push her around, how she was stronger than that, how the Rogue he knew wouldn't take that off of anyone.

I smile sadly at that. He was right, my daughter has a will strong enough to match any I have known. She never let anyone tell her what to do, unless she wanted to do it. _Imposing bedtimes and curfews had always been an absolute nightmare when she was young…_

Eventually, Xavier is able to force the personalities into submission, and Rogue passes out. I try to stop my heart from racing so hard, relaxing slightly at the obvious concern in Wolverine's voice as he asks if Rogue will be all right, and Xavier's answer. Possibly is better than an outright 'No', at least.

No one would ever believe me if I told them, but I bow my head in true sorrow as the X-Men carry my unconscious daughter away, and I know that I have lost my daughter, perhaps forever.

* * *

I _have_ to know if Rogue will be all right, if Destiny was proved wrong, and Rogue will live. I leave the Brotherhood pacing, it is good to know that they will still stand by her, no matter what, and make sure that Cyclops is occupied before assuming his form and going down to the Mansion's hospital wing to inquire about Rogue's progress.

Wolverine is sitting by her side, still in uniform, and the Professor says that he never left her side. That gives me a small bit of hope. If her mother has failed so miserably, perhaps Wolverine will be willing to treat her as the daughter I know he thinks of her as. I may never see her again, and I know she will not want me near her, but she will have a sort-of father, along with a very enthusiastic brother, if the hyperactive streak if blue fur upstairs that has been saying '_mien Schwester'_ every two minutes is anything to go by.

I snap out of my dismal thoughts. "But she _is_ recovering?" _Please say yes. Don't let Rogue die because of my actions._

My legs nearly give out beneath me as Xavier answers yes, and I barely hear his warnings about how she is still very weak. I see her wake up as Wolverine speaks to her, and my guilt at the tears in her eyes is temporarily outweighed by the knowledge that my daughter is alive.

* * *

I leave the mansion, finding Destiny. We drive over to check that things are quiet one more time. Irene loves Rogue as much as I do, and seems to need reassurance, despite her visions, which apparently tell her that Rogue is back in our future, although danger still looms on the horizon, an ancient mutant who enshrouds us both, my fate, and Rogue's in his hands.

I look at the Mansion one more time, telling myself that Rogue will be safe there, and immediately start making plans to find out who this mutant is, and how to protect my daughter from them.

_**x**_

_**x**_

_**x**_

**_x _**

_

* * *

A/N: Ok, how was it? Some people are probably going to insist that Mystique was out of character, but I still maintain that she does love Rogue as a daughter, in her own twisted way._

_Feedback is appreciated, as always._

_Nat_


End file.
